What are Common Sexual Coercion Tactics Present in Relationships?
Sexual coercion is violence and abuse occurring in relationships when someone coerces, manipulates, intimidates, or forces another into committing a sexual act. Here’s everything you need to know about sexual coercion in relationships and the common tactics used by abusers.
Sexual coercion can make a person believe they owe someone sex. Please remember no one should ever feel forced to engage in sexual relations with another person.
What is sexual coercion?
Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity occurring after being pressured in nonphysical ways. Sexual contact without a person’s consent is assault. Sexual coercion makes an individual feel forced to have sexual contact with a person.
Related: Sexual Assault on College Campuses
What does sexual coercion look like?
Sexual coercion occurs in a wide range of ways and methods. Sexual coercion can range from a person verbally encouraging sexual actions to physically forcing actions.
Refer to the list below for some common statements and methods of sexual coercion in relationships:
Consistently asking for sexual relations to make a person feel guilty or obligated to consent:
“If you loved me, you would do it.”
“Come on; it is my birthday.”
Making a person feel like it is too late to decline sexual relations
“But you have already got me all worked up.”
“You can not just make someone stop.”
Attempting to normalize their sexual expectations and desires:
“You should want to have sex with me as I do with you.”
Making promises to reward a person for sexual relations:
“I will make it worth your while.”
“You will not regret it.”
Giving a person drugs or alcohol to loosen up inhibitions
“Have another drink; it will make you loosen up.”
Threatening physical or verbal actions against a partner:
“If you do not, I will hurt…”
“You are going to make me so upset.”
Related: Sexual Harassment in the Military: What You Need to Know
Signs of Sexual Coercion in Marriage
Sexual assault can include sexual coercion. These actions may be difficult to identify within a marriage.
Refer to some common signs of sexual coercion in marriage below:
- A partner complains when a person declines sexual relations, often in a consistent manner
- A partner has continued a sexual act when a person wishes to stop
- A partner attempts to convince a person into sexual relations after a person has declined
- A partner has implied they are owed or obligated to sexual relations
- A partner is not receptive to a person’s contraceptive preferences
How to Get Help After Being Sexually Coerced
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are in a safe place, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online with a trained hotline worker on the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at any time to get help.
If you are younger than 18, tell a trusted adult about what happened. If you are an adult, consider talking to someone about getting help and reporting the person to the local authorities.
You can also file a sexual harassment complaint with a federal agency.
For workplace sexual harassment complaints, contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).
For school sexual harassment complaints, contact the U.S. Department of Education.
For housing sexual harassment complaints, contact the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.
FAQs about Sexual Coercion in Relationships
Who is likely to commit sexual coercion?
Anyone, including friends, coworkers, romantic partners, family members, or strangers, can commit sexual coercion. Sexual coercion is most likely to occur with someone who already has a connection with an individual.
Is sexual coercion illegal?
Sexual activity should only take place with consent. Sexual coercion can be considered sexual assault, making it illegal.
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