Getting Ready for Divorce as a Single Mother
It’s important to financially, emotionally, and legally get ready for your divorce. Here’s how to prepare for divorce as a stay-at-home mom.
As a stay-at-home mom, it’s important that you prepare for your divorce financially, emotionally, and legally. This can include getting your financial documents in order, having a conversation with your children, and speaking to an experienced divorce attorney.
Emotionally Preparing for Your Divorce As a Stay-At-Home Mom
It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions through your divorce, including denial, anger, and depression. Emotionally prepare for your divorce can help you move towards a feeling of acceptance and positive change.
Accept
If you can’t change the situation, learn to accept it. You should not beat yourself up about ending your marriage; accept that this is the situation and move towards creating a better life for yourself. Embrace your emotions, but don’t let them hold you back from doing what needs to be done.
Be Your Best Self
This divorce will be a journey. From denial to anger and sadness or frustration, this period will be one of change. For most, divorce turns out to be a period of blossoming and self-reflection. Consider how you may have contributed to ending your marriage, and work towards being your best self. Use your emotions to fuel your ambitions and goals.
Financially Preparing for Divorce As a Stay-At-Home Mom
As a stay-at-home mom, it’s important to forecast your financial situation post-divorce. Consider how you want your life to look like after your marriage and the financial state you need to get there. Evaluate your income, expenses, assets, and debts to best financially prepare for divorce.
Have a Bank Account in Your Name
You may want to open a bank account in your own name. Considering that you and your spouse will not hold any joint bank accounts once the divorce is finalized, it may be in your best interest to open your own account as soon as possible. Set aside some money in your personal bank account; this can help pay for an attorney and fund your divorce. In some divorces, spouses can make it very difficult for their partners to access bank accounts or withdraw funds. While the law protects you from these types of maneuvers, going through the court system can take a while. Handling kids and trying to earn income to fund your divorce can be tough; set aside your own bank account to make sure you’re financially stable.
Build Your Credit
It’s important that you start building your credit as soon as possible. The earlier you start building your credit, the more likely you’ll be to receive a loan and propel your financial state. Start off by requesting a copy of your credit report. Review the statement thoroughly and dispute any errors you find. Keep track of your monthly credit card bills and pay them off in full. If you don’t have a credit card open in your own name, get one. Start making small purchases with this credit card and pay them on time; this’ll build your credit history and score. Building your credit score is an easy way to financially prepare for a divorce.
Collect Financial Documents
Start collecting and organizing your financial statements. This can give you a more accurate depiction of your financial situation and how you can maintain it. Once a divorce begins, some spouses try to hide financial documents from their partners. So, you’ll want to get your hands on all relevant financial documents as soon as possible. To best financially prepare for your divorce as a stay-at-home mom, gather and organize:
- Tax returns (W-2 Forms)
- Pay stubs
- Bank and investment records
- Credit card and loan statements
- Life insurance policies
- Deeds to properties
Create a Budget
Clearly write down your income, assets, expenses, and debts. Calculate your monthly income, weekly expenses, and how you can best manage to save money through your divorce. Honestly consider your lifestyle and expenses. This can be the most effective way to financially prepare for your divorce. Consider limiting expenses where you can, and know what you’re spending money on. Then, set a budget for certain aspects of your lifestyle. Ask some attorneys about the complexity of your divorce and how much you’ll need to save to afford a good lawyer. Reorganize and adapt to your new financial state; this is the best way to prepare for your future.
Legally Preparing for Divorce As a Stay-At-Home Mom
It’s important to understand your options before moving forward with your divorce. Many spouses ended up in complicated divorces because they didn’t get legal help or legally prepare for their divorce properly. One of our divorce attorneys for women can help you choose the best option for your unique case.
Think About Mediation or Collaborative Divorce
Spouses can collaboratively settle divorce terms. In a collaborative divorce, spouses reach a divorce agreement before filing. That way, they can skip the legal jargon of divorce court and trial. Each spouse can still protect their rights with an attorney. Think about if you and your spouse could feasibly work out divorce terms this way. Consider speaking to your spouse about getting a collaborative divorce before moving forward with legal proceedings.
Mediation is also a great way for spouses to amicably work out divorce issues outside of court. In mediation, an impartial third-party helps spouses agree to divorce terms. Going to mediation can save you and your spouse lots of time, money, and stress. However, mediation may not be your best option if you and your spouse can’t have a civil discussion. Talk to an attorney to determine what method of divorce is best for you.
Find the Right Attorney
While your lawyer’s price is important, don’t automatically choose the cheapest attorney. If your lawyer doesn’t have experience in the legal matter you need help with, they can take longer than a specialized attorney would end up charging you more. It’s important to find an attorney that specializes in the particular legal matters you need help with. If you’re seeking child support, find a divorce attorney that specializes in helping mothers get child support. Get in touch with a few attorneys before picking one. Ask each lawyer questions about their experience, pricing, and how they can help you. At Her Lawyer, our attorneys proudly specialize in helping stay-at-home moms get through their divorce.
Getting Child Support as a Stay-At-Home Mom
Child support is a parent’s financial obligation to pay a custodial parent for their child’s expenses. If you’re a custodial parent (you probably will be if you’re a stay-at-home mom), you’ll likely be eligible for child support. This can help alleviate some of the financial difficulties of being a stay-at-home mom. Balancing your kids with work can be challenging; do some research about your state’s child support laws. Speak to a child support attorney to learn about your options.
Getting Spousal Support as a Stay-At-Home Mom
Spousal support, or alimony, is a common way for stay-at-home moms to pay for their expenses and continue taking care of their children. Alimony is financial payments made from one spouse to another after a divorce. If your primary job was to take care of the kids at home and your spouse was the breadwinner, you’re probably eligible for spousal support.
If you’re going to be the one caring for the children after this divorce, a judge will likely award you spousal support. However, you’ll need evidence to support your claims. Start gathering you and your spouse’s financial statements that prove help prove your case. Spousal support can help stay-at-home moms maintain their marital standard of living. Get in touch with one of our spousal support attorneys for women to understand your options.
Talking to Your Kids About Divorce
If you haven’t already, you’ll need to tell your children that you’re getting a divorce at some point. Communicating with your kids about what’s happening can help them accept changes. Some children begin to think that what’s happening is their fault; let them know that it’s not.
Do It With Your Spouse
Parents should speak with their children together to let them know that the marriage is ending. This can help them understand that what is happening is best for the family. Some parents choose to talk to one child at a time; that’s completely normal. But, it’s not a good idea to tell your child about the divorce unless both parents are present. It’s better to avoid putting the children in a position where they have to choose sides. Show your children that you and your spouse are still united and will stay united throughout this.
Know What You’re Going to Say
Talk to your spouse and have a plan about what you will and will not reveal in this conversation with your children. The only thing that should concern your children in this conversation is what’s happening and how they’ll be affected by it.
You don’t have to reveal every aspect of your divorce and marriage to the kids; you probably don’t want to. Tell your kids what’s happening, but not why it’s happening. The “why” can turn this conversation into an argument between you and your spouse; that’s the last thing you want. Give your children time to process what’s happening before revealing more information.
Support Them
Let your children know that it’s okay for them to feel confused. Encourage them to ask any questions they may have. Give them time and space to comprehend what you’ve just said. Some children act out because they’re upset about what’s happening; it’s important to meet their needs and continue supporting them.
How Can An Attorney Help Me Prepare for Divorce As a Stay-At-Home Mom?
An attorney can help you prepare for your divorce as a stay-at-home mom by helping you understand your options. An experienced divorce lawyer will explain the steps you need to take to protect your legal rights in this divorce. Once your divorce has begun, your divorce attorney can represent you in court or mediation. A specialized attorney can help you seek favorable terms of property division, child custody, child support, and spousal support.
Free Consultation With a Divorce Attorney
If you’re a stay-at-home mom preparing for a divorce and need legal help, contact us. At Her Lawyer, we proudly specialize in helping women through their divorce. Get your free consultation with the right divorce attorney today!