Preparing for Child Custody Mediation
Determining child custody is arguably the most difficult aspect of a divorce. Here’s how to prepare for child custody mediation in California.
To best prepare for child custody mediation in California, parents should focus on their child’s best interests, track their current custody schedule, organize important documents, and plan any questions they have.
Focus on The Child’s Best Interests
In California, the court will consider the child’s best interests when determining child custody. That means you and your spouse’s bickering and arguments will lead nowhere. If your spouse attempts to antagonize, intimidate, or manipulate you, don’t give in. In reality, you’re not negotiating with them; you’re only trying to prove to the mediator that the child is best off in your custody. If your spouse tries to use the child as leverage against you, let them. Don’t take the bait. Be in control of your emotions, never let them control or affect your decision making. You’re there for a reason: to make sure that your child ends up in the right hands. Everything else is noise, so treat it as such.
Make sure that every claim you make about the child’s best interests is backed by proof; this will strengthen your case. If you are going to make a claim about why you should have child custody, ensure that you have the evidence to prove your claim. Once the mediator sees proof documenting your claims, he or she will be willing to guide the negotiation in a manner that takes your accounts as reasonable. If you’re wondering what to expect in child custody mediation, click here.
Track Your Current Custody Schedule
Keeping a custody and visitation journal is a great method for the mediator to get an accurate understanding of the situation at hand. If the majority of your child’s time is spent with you, the mediator will likely guide the negotiations to maintain that routine. Keeping track of your current custody schedule and parental responsibilities can prove that you are the one predominantly caring for the child, and should be given child custody rights. This can be done by simply journaling your time with your child. In mediation, current custody schedules can serve as ample proof of parental responsibilities.
Propose a Reasonable Child Custody Schedule
Again, the child custody terms will be determined to promote the child’s best interests. If you can prove that your child’s parent does not uphold parental responsibilities, then sole custody may be a reasonable proposition. But, if your spouse has been a responsible and caring parent, then seeking sole custody may seem unreasonable to the mediator.
Before mediation, draft a custody and visitation schedule that you believe will promote the child’s best interests. The mediator can use this as a guide to work off of when determining a final custody agreement. Make sure that you can prove why the proposed child custody schedule will serve the child’s best interests. Claims not backed by evidence may only weaken your case.
Review, Organize, and Bring Documents
Make sure to review, organize, and bring the following documents to child custody mediation:
- Request for orders
- Court orders
- Child’s expenses
- Restraining orders
- Police reports
- Any other documents that can help determine the child’s best interests
Divorce court orders are legally enforceable statements signed by a judge requiring a spouse to or not to take certain actions, while a Request for Order is a spouse or parent’s petition for a court order. Review, re-review, and organize these documents in a manner that strengthens your claims. It’s important to know these documents like the back of your hand; this will give you a favorable impression with the mediator and an opportunity to fortify your position when you otherwise couldn’t.
Restraining orders and police reports that can prove that your husband has been abusive, helping you gain custody and protect your child’s best interests.
Write Down Ideas, Issues, or Concerns
Mediation is a collaborative process, and it’s important for both parties to fully understand the terms of their custody agreement. Prior to mediation, write down any questions or ideas you may have. This can help remind you to clear any confusion that you may have. Jotting down ideas relating to custody schedules can be useful, as they can be taken into consideration when settling child custody.
Know That You Don’t Have to Agree
Understand that at mediation, you are under no obligation to agree to child custody terms. You should only sign an agreement if you believe it is in the child’s best interests; do not settle for less. Do not be pressured into signing a child custody agreement that you don’t feel comfortable with. Walk into mediation with an open mind. If the meeting isn’t productive or suiting the child’s best interests, know that you can get up and walk away at any time.
Making Custody Mediation Successful
At the end of the day, you want this meeting to be productive. For custody mediation to be successful, remember:
- Focus on the child’s best interests
- Don’t get angry or emotional
- Remain professional
- Be reasonable
- Have an open mind
- Listen
There’s definitely potential for the meeting to get heated and be counter-productive, so steer clear of the fire. Know that you’re in mediation to determine the best interests of your child; bickering with your spouse and taking things personally only wastes everyone’s time and money.
Get a Lawyer
A divorce lawyer can protect you and your child’s rights in mediation. Also, many divorce attorneys perform mediation; mediators that are attorneys often better understand how to guide the discussion. Mediation attorneys can help facilitate productive negotiation in a manner that protects the rights of all parties involved.
Child Custody Mediation FAQs
What not to say in child custody mediation?
The focus of the discussion should be to facilitate your child’s best interests, so avoid:
- Making emotionally charged statements
- Intimidation or bickering
- Making the mediation about yourself rather than your child
What to ask for in child custody mediation?
In child custody mediation, make sure to ask for reasonable terms that promote the child’s best interests. Every claim you make should be backed by proof.
How much does mediation cost for child custody?
Child custody mediation costs depend on how long mediation takes. Mediators are typically willing to negotiate their fees in a manner that works for all parties involved.
What if you don’t come to an agreement after child custody mediation?
Parents are not obligated to come to a child custody agreement in mediation. If an agreement hasn’t been reached, parents can either hire an arbitrator or take their child custody case to court.
How long does mediation take for child custody?
Child custody mediation can last anywhere between one hour and one year. How quickly mediation moves along is completely dependent upon how swiftly both parents can reach an agreement.
Contact Us
If you’re looking to prepare for child custody mediation in California, contact us. We’ll get you in touch with the most qualified attorney for your unique legal situation. Many of our divorce attorneys also specialize in child custody mediation.