What Happens At Child Custody Mediation in California
In California, mediation is a common way to help settle child custody terms. For parents going through a divorce, here’s what to expect in child custody mediation in California.
In child custody mediation, California parents can expect to identify child custody issues, negotiate custody terms, and even draft a custody agreement. Mediators hear from both parents and help facilitate productive conversations.
What is child custody mediation in California?
Child custody mediation is a process by which divorcing parents meet with a neutral, third-party conciliator to resolve child custody issues in a collaborative manner. Contrary to court proceedings, child custody mediation is a way in which parents can work together to reach reasonable custody and visitation agreements without being pinned against each other.
Mediation can either occur with both parents in the room with the mediator or with the mediator meeting individually with each parent. This is completely dependent upon if the child’s parents are able to have a healthy, productive discussion without getting heated. If the mediator meets individually with each parent, the mediator will go back and forth to help arrive at a reasonable custody agreement. If the parents agree to meet face to face in mediation, then the mediator will help guide the discussion and even help draft a custody agreement.
Identify Issues
The first step of child custody mediation is to figure out what issues need to be resolved. Disputes will be discussed in a prioritized manner, with more urgent issues being discussed first, and less pressing issues being discussed later in mediation. By tackling the easier, more urgent issues first, the parents can build trust to further cooperate through mediation.
Important aspects of child custody terms that should be resolved during mediation include:
- Regular custody and visitation schedules
- Exceptions to regular custody and visitation schedules (like holidays or vacations)
- How to handle the child’s needs, including extracurricular activities
- How to modify custody and visitation terms in the future
- How parents will talk to each other about their children
Although necessary, resolving these terms can be difficult, so it’s important to keep calm and collected during mediation.
Compromise and Negotiate Resolutions
Often the greatest challenge in child custody mediation, reaching agreeable terms requires patience, compromise, and collaboration from both parents. Both parents will speak to the mediator, either individually or collectively, and explain why their aimed child custody terms are in the child’s best interests. There’s often a lot of back and forth negotiation and compromise between parents settling child custody terms, and that’s okay. If the child’s well-being is the focus of conversations, parents will likely settle child custody terms in mediation.
When compromising and negotiating resolutions, it’s important to put the child in the center of the discussion, not the middle. Parents often exchange heated words in mediation, claiming that the child is “mine”; do not put the child in the middle of your disputes. Instead, let the child be the focus of these issues, and cooperate with your child’s parent in a way that promotes your child’s best interests.
Draft a Custody Agreement
Once custody issues have been resolved, the mediator can help draft a custody agreement that reflects the parents’ agreements. It’s important for both parents to carefully review this document, as it is legally enforceable. Mediators often advise parents to sit down with an attorney and make sure this document does not encroach their or their child’s rights.
After both parents agree to and sign it, the custody agreement will be sent to a court for approval. If the judge signs the submitted custody agreement, it becomes legally enforceable; child custody agreements are ONLY legally enforceable if signed by a judge.
Child Custody Mediation FAQs
Who can attend child custody mediation in California?
Mediators, parents, and their lawyers are typically the only people allowed in child custody mediation. Though rare, children can take part in mediation as well and state their preferences.
Do mediators report back to court after child custody mediation in California?
After mediation has ended, either parents or their mediator will submit the signed custody agreement to their local family court for approval. Custody agreements are legally enforceable only if signed by a judge.
What not to say in child custody mediation in California?
During child custody mediation, its important NOT to
- Talk about “my rights”
- Say “my children”
- Be argumentative or antagonizing
- Ask for 50/50 timeshares
- Sign anything without speaking to a lawyer
Using the bad tactics listed above usually backfires, as mediators see through a parent’s intentions and always act in the child’s best interests. It’s important to prepare for child custody mediation.
How are custody agreements made in child custody mediation enforced?
Agreements made in child custody mediation can only be legally enforced if approved by a court. For the agreement to become enforceable, submit the custody agreement to your local court for a judge to sign.
Can you bring an attorney to child custody mediation in California?
Yes, parents can and are advised to bring a divorce lawyer to child custody mediation. California’s divorce laws are complex, and an experienced lawyer can help protect a parent and child’s rights in mediation.
Contact Us
If you’re asking what to expect in child custody mediation, contact us. We’ll get you in touch with the most qualified attorney or mediator for your unique legal situation.