What to Know About Getting Child Custody from A Narcissist

Trying to get child custody from a narcissist may be very overwhelming and stressful. Her Lawyer has several pieces of advice for women in California dealing with a narcissist in a child custody battle. Here’s how to get child custody from a narcissist.

Related: How to Divorce a Narcissistic Husband

1. Avoid arguments with a narcissist

Narcissists will try and undermine you however possible. You may become frustrated and upset, and a narcissist will only use these emotions against you claiming that you may be emotionally unfit or unstable for shield custody. Furthermore, an argument with a narcissist will most likely lead to nowhere, as they will only accept a final result that they want. It is incredibly important not to fall to a narcissist’s level, as the court will be observing each party’s behavior very closely.

2. Hold on to records of everything

Maintaining and presenting parental records during a custody battle can help demonstrate one’s true parenting capabilities to a judge. Some examples of relevant records include report cards, photos, emails, and medical visits. Having these details on hand as evidence will also prevent a narcissist from altering facts, and will challenge their lies with truth. Holding onto evidence and records can only aid in achieving the best course of action for yourself. When deciding custody, a court will look into each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent, any criminal history or substance abuse, the wishes of both parents (and the children if their age is applicable), and the psychological health of all parties.

Related: California’s Child Custody Process

3. Leave your children out of the fight

Your children should never be utilized as a weapon against your spouse. It’s important to remember that your children are just as emotionally vulnerable and distressed about the situation as you are. Furthermore, don’t train your children to hate the other parent in front of the court. This may include speaking ill of the other parent in front of children, or explicitly instructing them that their other parent is unfit and a danger. This is known as parental alienation and can only cause further issues in custody battles. Rather, listen to their concerns and perhaps arrange psychological help with a counselor to verbalize their emotions in a more private situation.

4. Set boundaries

It can be useful to establish firm boundaries with your narcissistic partner on the amount of contact, interaction, and time they may spend with you and/or your children. This may prove to be a challenge, especially when you need to be the bigger person in the relationship. By setting these boundaries and limiting contact with a narcissistic partner, it will become easier to steer clear of toxic behavior and gaslighting strategies.

Related: How to Protect Your Child from a Narcissistic Parent

5. Have faith in yourself

Most importantly, have faith in yourself and your parenting. Child custody battles can be more difficult when dealing with a narcissistic partner. A court will want to see that you are mentally, physically, and financially fit to provide care for your child. Stick to your plan and listen to your attorney’s advice, even when your narcissistic partner may try to drag you down. By doing this, you will help your case and may show that the other parent is not fit by comparison. You know what is best for your children, so it is important to keep their well-being as a priority at all times.

6. Get proper legal help

Fighting a custody battle with a narcissist can be a serious matter, and puts the wellbeing of your children on the line. Speaking with an experienced attorney who specializes in family law immediately. A lawyer can help you review your rights and options, which can only be a help in the long run.

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If you or a loved one have any more questions on how to get child custody from a narcissist, contact us. Get your free consultation with one of our experienced Child Custody Attorneys today!