Marriage does not equate to blanket consent to sexual intimacy. Being married does not make experiences of sexual assault and/or rape any less valid. Here’s what you need to know if your husband sexually assaulted you.
Trigger warning: rape, sexual assault
The United States Department of Justice defines sexual assault as “any nonconsensual sexual act proscribed by Federal, tribal, or State law, including when the victim lacks the capacity to consent.” This definition applies not only to strangers but also to couples in a relationship or bound by marriage. In 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states. However, due to the highly sensitive nature of this issue, martial sexual assault and rape often go unreported. If survivors are willing and ready, it is important they speak out and ensure that their abusers are held accountable.
Safety Planning
Engaging in safety planning can reduce the risk of future harm. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) lays out safety planning tips to ensure safety and prepare for escape if necessary.
Support from a Confidential, Non-Judgemental Source
Following a marital sexual assault, a survivor might feel immense confusion, shame, and fear. It can be very challenging to come forward for numerous personal reasons. Confidential, non-judgmental support is available. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault.
Victims of sexual assault can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or the National Center for Victims of Crime at 1-855-4-VICTIM (1-855-484-2846).
Reporting to Law Enforcement and Seeking Legal Action
Reporting sexual assault to law enforcement is a decision that is entirely up to the survivor. If one is considering reporting an incident, understanding the process ahead will help the survivor feel more prepared.
First and foremost, 911 is an option if one is in immediate danger. Contacting the local police department is another option. If the victim is a college student, they may be able to contact campus-based law enforcement.
If the victim is being treated for injuries resulting from sexual assault, they can inform their medical provider of intent to report the crime. One will also have the option to receive a sexual assault forensic exam (also known as “rape kit”). The Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2013 made it easier to obtain the “Jane Doe rape kit,” which allows an individual to collect forensic evidence and report the crime later in the future. This allows survivors to seek justice against their abusers at their own pace.
To learn more about options after a marital assault, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Survivors are connected to staff members from local sexual assault service providers to learn more about possible legal action.
While there is no time limitation on reporting a crime to the police, there is a statute of limitation on when sexual assault charges can be filed. In California, the prosecution must bring a spousal rape case against the perpetrator within 6 years of the incident (Cal. Penal Code § SB 813, §800).
FAQs About Marital Sexual Assault and Marital Rape
What are some statistics surrounding martial sexual assault and marital rape?
A 2010-2012 state report from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey provides insight on the rising phenomenon of marital sexual and marital rape. The report states that nearly half of female rape victims were assaulted by a current or former romantic partner. According to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, “approximately 10-14% of married women are raped by their husbands in the United States.”
What are warning signs of abuse in a relationship or marriage?
Some warning signs of a sexually abusive partner or spouse include:
- Cutting you off from friends and family
- Acting extremely jealous, possessive, upset
- Insulting you
- Preventing you from making independent decisions
- Preventing you from going to work or school
- Telling you that you are worthless and no one cares or loves you
Related: How Domestic Violence Affects Divorce in California
Where can I find a local sexual assault service provider?
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) has created a search tool to help you find local counseling, support groups, and more. RAINN also provides a great number of resources for national and international organizations.
Contact Her Lawyer
If your husband sexually assaulted you or a loved one, get your free consultation with one of our California Sexual Assault Attorneys today. We’re on your side.