Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when children do not want to cooperate. Here is what to do if your child refuses visitation with the other parent.
There are many reasons why children could refuse visitation with the other parent. When dealing with a child not wanting to visit their other parent, it is essential to notify the other parent immediately, encourage visitation, get the co-parent involved in the solution, document everything, and make transitions as smooth as possible.
What Might Make a Child Not Want to Visit a Parent?
When dealing with situations like uncooperative children, it is important to understand why the child is acting the way that they are. While every situation is different, there are a few common causes:
- Co-parent lives far away from school, friends, and other things the child loves
- Co-parent enforces rules that the child does not like
- Co-parent and child argue a lot
- Co-parent has others living in the home or has many visitors whom the child does not like
If the child mentions any reasons for not wanting to visit a co-parent that could pose harm to their safety, make sure to contact a lawyer immediately. If the issue does not pertain to immediate safety issues, then the child should continue to attend their visitations as scheduled.
Legal Concerns
Even when a child does not want to visit their other parent, it is the custodial parent’s legal responsibility to ensure that the child sees their other parent.
Seeing as family law courts want parents to encourage their children to see and stay with their other parent, they could take action against a parent who appears to be preventing visitations.
A co-parent could take legal action against a custodial parent who does not encourage or allow visitation by filing an Order to Show Cause. This would call for a hearing in which the custodial parent would have to appear before the court to explain or show cause as to why they are not complying with the visitation agreement. A judge would need to be fully convinced that the child is the one resisting visitation, even if the parent does their best to explain the situation.
Related: Order to Show Cause Hearing in California (Family Law)
The court might look a little differently on a teenager resisting visitation versus a young child, as teens are more known for pushing boundaries and challenging rules. However, in most states, teenagers under 18 do not have any say on whether or not they follow the visitation schedule.
What to Do If Your Child Refuses Visitation With the Other Parent
When a child is refusing to follow the visitation schedule and spend time with the other parent, it is the custodial parent’s responsibility to manage the situation to the best of their ability.
Notify the Other Parent
It is important for the custodial parent to remember that a child missing a scheduled visitation with their co-parent could put them in a legal bind, so it is essential that the co-parent be notified in some way of the resistance. An attorney is the best person to get assistance from when dealing with this issue.
It is also extremely important to remember to document everything about the resistance and how it was handled. This will come in handy if the visitation issue is ever taken to court.
Encourage Visitation
A child refusing visitation with a co-parent puts everyone involved in a tough situation, especially the custodial parent. In instances like these, it is important for the custodial parent to keep in mind that they call the shots, not their child. Yet issues like these are emotional and can cause some discomfort or guilt. Obviously, the parent wants to take their child’s opinions into consideration, but visitation agreements must be followed.
Related: How to Make a Child Visitation Schedule in California
Encouraging visitation is extremely important and can make or break a situation of a child resisting visitation. A custodial parent should do their best to promote the idea that both parents love the child and that it is extremely important for them to spend time with both parents. It is also important for the custodial parent to consider their own actions and how they talk about the co-parent in front of their child. Bad-mouthing the co-parent is likely to only cause more hostility and resistance to visitation.
Get the Co-Parent Involved
The custodial parent should make sure to communicate with the co-parent to work together and come up with a plan for the best solution possible. Perhaps have the co-parent and child communicate via phone call or video chat so that they can meet in a low-stress environment. Family meetings are other great ways to solve issues and work out problems. It also could be helpful to bring in a third party or mental health advisor to accommodate the child.
Make Transitions as Smooth as Possible
Keeping transitions as smooth as possible is another way to attempt to make the child as comfortable as possible with the change of visitation rotations. Before the child leaves to stay with their co-parent, the custodial parent should ensure that they have everything they need and are all packed and ready to go.
Custodial parents should also stay calm during transition times. They should be sure that they are letting their child know that they love them and that they will miss them, while also telling them that their co-parent will be so excited to see them and that they will have such a good time. Custodial parents should also make sure to keep the conversation about the transition and the co-parent positive.
Am I legally obligated to force my child to visit the other parent if they don’t want to?
While the ethical answer here would be “no,” the legal answer is “yes.” There are court-ordered visitation schedules that must be followed, and while the idea of a fifteen-year-old refusing visitation might sway a judge, a child under ten does not hold the same weight.
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If you would like to know more on what to do if your child refuses visitation with their other parent, contact us. We’ll match you with the best attorney in your local area for your needs and preferences. Get your free consultation with one of our California Family Law Attorneys in California!