Recognizing the 5 Emotional Stages of Divorce
Enduring a divorce can be an emotionally painful and complicated process involving many different thoughts and feelings. Here’s how to recognize the 5 different emotional stages of a divorce in California.
A spouse can have a huge role in an individual’s life and the concept of losing them may be frightening. Ending a marriage may generate different reactions out of each person. However, in California, statistical studies show 5 emotional stages prevail in most divorces. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Related: How to Get a Divorce Without Lawyers: DIY Divorce California
The 5 Emotional Stages of Divorce
1. Denial
Being in denial throughout a divorce occurs primarily in the spouse who did not initiate the divorce. This person, the one who is being left, finds themselves believing the claim will drop, their spouse will change their mind, or other similar thoughts. Denying the situation is occurring enables the person being left to avoid the emotions and logistics arisising when handling a divorce. Denial can be the most common reason there is a delay in response to divorce papers as it takes time to overcome the shock of being served divorce papers.
2. Anger
Anger occurs within both spouses, but the person who may experience it more is the spouse who was served the divorce papers. Although both parties may be hurt, the spouse being left may feel anger more intensely. Whether rage at their spouse for their actions, worry over how others will respond, or other fears culminating in anger, the emotion can be a huge factor in how a divorce plays out. Actions and decisions made during this emotional stage can be very important as a spouse may attempt to place blame on the other for ruining the marriage.
3. Bargaining
Both spouses may attempt to bargain with each other in hopes of salvaging their marriage. The bargaining phase can be helpful if beneficial changes are possible. The person who originally filed for divorce may be the individual who struggles more in this stage due to potential feelings of guilt and shame for initiating the process. The bargaining phase can statistically lead to reversing divorce papers.
4. Depression
Depression can be the most challenging and the long-lasting effect of divorce. The culmination over previous emotional stages can create sadness. Depression is reported to be the hardest stage to overcome and cope with in divorce. Thoughts of never finding love again, destroying one’s family, among other intrusive thoughts are common. Both partners understand the reality of the situation, creating equal potential for both to become depressed. Seeking professional help may be most helpful at this point.
5. Acceptance
The acceptance stage may be described as feelings of peace, experiencing relief, or understanding life will continue to be okay and go forward. Acceptance may be the hardest stage to reach because it can be the closest a spouse has come to moving on from the divorce process. A spouse may come to terms with the divorce and comprehend why it happened. The acceptance phase may not end one’s divorce grieving process, as they may return to previous emotional stages at any point.
Related: Divorce FAQs in California
FAQs on the 5 Emotional Stages of Divorce in California
How long should a person expect to spend in each stage of divorce in California?
The timeline for grieving divorce looks different for everyone. Individuals may spend more time in one category than another person will, or one may have a shorter or longer process overall. Some may take longer to accept divorce–– if at all. A person may grieve through different emotional stages of divorce for the rest of their life.
Is it possible to go through the 5 emotional stages of divorce out of order?
Yes, many people find themselves going through the five emotional stages of divorce listed above in a different order. Many are known to enter different stages multiple times and perhaps skip steps of the emotional stages.
Why are the stages of grief for death the same 5 steps in California?
Grief is unique, yet can be a similar experience for most people. The same 5 stages can apply to all forms of grief experienced among those grieving for both death and divorce.
Do I need to seek counseling for my divorce grief?
Professionals are an excellent resource for all people experiencing a divorce, and may be very helpful in navigating emotions and the process in general. Counseling may be useful in attempting to work through the depression phase.
How do I make the 5 emotional stages of divorce move faster?
Unfortunately, there is no way to speed up or slow down any phase of grieving. The steps happen naturally and spouses may need to be extra patient with themselves while healing from a divorce. Leaning on their closest friends and family or joining a support network may be helpful.
Contact Us
If you or a loved one would like to learn more about the 5 emotional stages of divorce in California, get your free consultation with one of our divorce attorneys in California today!