What are the 11 Most Common Reasons for Divorce?
Divorces happen for a wide variety of reasons, and no two divorces are the same. Here are the 11 most common reasons for divorce.
1. Money
The single most common reason for getting a divorce is hard to pin down, as there is no one taking note of the reason behind each divorce. Ranking will vary depending on the study, but there is usually a common list of reasons for divorce taking place. Aspects revolving around money troubles are always on such lists, which is why it is being placed at the top of this list.
No matter how much money a couple has, money is always a stressor in marriage. Money issues can wreck marriages in so many ways. Money can be an extra stressor on a marriage if couples don’t have it. Money issues cause stress, which can ruin communication, which can eventually lead to a divorce. The best way for couples to have a chance at surviving money problems during their marriage is to face financial issues with honest communication.
2. Lack of Intimacy
Over time, marriages become less about physical intimacy and more about a deeper love for one another. While sex is an important part of every marriage, intimacy is about much more than sex. Intimacy should not disappear just because the physical aspect of a relationship is becoming less frequent. Intimacy involves a person paying attention to their spouse. When small acts of caring and attention go away, the relationship can begin to spiral. Over time, this will lead to couples feeling disconnected and unappreciated.
3. Infidelity
Adultery is a very common and fairly obvious reason as to why people get divorced. 22% of men have committed at least one act of adultery in their lives, while 14% of married women have had at least one affair. The reality of infidelity is that it significantly changes a marriage, and will catch up to couples sooner or later. Even marriages that survive acts of infidelity are forever changed.
Related: Adultery Laws in California: What You Need to Know
4. Abuse
Patterns of domestic abuse in marriages are valid and very common reasons for divorce. Many people see abuse as purely physical, however, emotional and financial abuse are also very real and damaging for victims. Abuse is also not just directed at spouses, but can also be directed at children, grandparents, siblings, friends, or other people living in the home. Staying in a chronically abusive relationship is neither healthy nor safe. It is important for victims to do whatever they can to get away from their abuser in order to stay safe.
If one is not sure of where to turn, he or she can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit their website.
Related: How Domestic Violence Affects Divorce in California
5. Lack of Compatibility
When couples get married, they often think that they are meant to be and that they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Things change over time – more importantly, people change. As time goes on, habits and interests change, and conflict gets harder and harder to move past. Some marriages can survive this change, but not all marriages can.
6. Physical Appearance
Growing apart in marriages due to changing physical appearance can sound shallow and unfair, but it is a real reason that marriages end. Men and women alike want attractive spouses so that they can be pleased intellectually and sexually. When a spouse’s appearance changes significantly, it can genuinely affect relationships. These changes in physical appearance can impact intimacy, self-esteem, health, etc.
7. Addictions
When most people think of addictions, they usually think of alcohol or drug abuse. But addiction can come in many forms, and all of them can threaten a couple’s chances of staying together. When couples grow apart, some spouses can sometimes turn to addictions such as gambling, pornography, spending, or infidelity. Addiction in marriages can cause lying, cheating, stealing, and betraying of trust.
Those struggling with addiction should not be afraid to get professional help.
8. Getting Married at an Early Age
One big reason that couples get divorced is not being fully prepared for what marriage entails. Divorce rates are highest for couples in their 20s, and almost half of divorces take place within the first ten years of marriage. Marrying young can cause many issues that older couples don’t face, such as issues involving finances, communication, and maturity. These issues can be exacerbated when young couples decide to have children at a young age.
9. Getting Married for the Wrong Reasons
Some people have unreasonable expectations regarding marriage, and they can end up wildly disappointed once married. The “happily ever after” that many people crave or expect when they get married requires work. However, not everyone is willing to put in that work to make their marriage their very own fairy tale. Many people are blindsided by their spouse’s imperfections, and wake up years later realizing they got married for the wrong reasons.
10. Lack of Communication
When couples are no longer effectively and constructively able to communicate with each other, their marriage is in deep trouble. When couples begin to get wrapped up in the business of work, kids, mental health, etc., communication can fall to the wayside, and couples will end up making assumptions about how their partner is feeling. Chronic communication issues can be a large contributor to marriages falling apart.
11. Lack of Equality and Loss of Identity
When partners aren’t equally involved in decision-making, a marriage can quickly turn sour. People whose spouses have much stronger personalities than them often feel like they are pushed to the side and don’t have a say in anything. This can cause issues early on in a marriage, as the more submissive partner can feel like they don’t have autonomy in their life or their relationship. Other times, couples spend too much time together and lose a sense of individuality. This loss of individuality and identity can put a strain on a marriage, and cause it to fall apart quickly.
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If you are experiencing one of the 11 most common reasons for divorce and are now considering divorce, contact us. Get your free consultation with one of our Divorce Attorneys in California today!