What to Ask When Interviewing a Divorce Mediator in California
When choosing a divorce mediator, you and your spouse should know if they’re the right fit. Here are the top 10 questions to ask when interviewing a divorce mediator.
Your divorce mediator’s personal experience, qualifications, and style can significantly affect the outcome of your divorce. Couples that choose mediation as a method of divorce should know that they can trust their mediator. Knowing if a mediator is qualified to handle your divorce should be a priority.
1. What qualifies you to be our divorce mediator?
Choose a divorce mediator that’s qualified for your particular case. Qualifications include not only certifications and education, but also prior experience, training, and personality. It’s important that your divorce mediator has completed specialized training courses. Make sure that your attorney has handled divorces similar to yours. For example, hire a mediator with experience in child custody resolutions if you and your spouse seek to settle child custody terms. Divorce mediators with legal backgrounds can more effectively draft legal documents and settle complex legal issues. This is important to ask when interviewing a divorce mediator.
Every divorce is unique, so it’s important to find the most qualified divorce mediator for your specific needs.
2. What’s your style of mediation?
Mediators typically follow one of two mediation styles: the “facilitative” and the “directive” style. Facilitative mediators help couples reach a settlement that meets both of their needs. These mediators help facilitate productive discussions that ens in a mutually satisfactory agreement. Directive mediators, on the other hand, guide mediation in the manner they believe a judge would. In directive mediation, the mediator tries his or her best to function as a judge and guide discussions in a manner that is in accordance with California’s divorce guidelines, regardless of what’s satisfactory to one partner.
One style of mediation is not necessarily better than the other. It’s important to hire a mediator whose style fits your needs. If you and your spouse are willing to civilly arrive at mutually satisfactory terms, then a facilitative mediator may be better for you. If one spouse has acted in bad faith, a directive mediator may help reach a more fair settlement.
3. Are you an attorney as well as a mediator?
Divorces can be messy and confusing, so it can be extremely useful to hire a mediator with legal experience. Divorce mediation attorneys provide distinct advantages. They can help guide discussions in a manner that is in accordance with California’s divorce laws, as well as protect the rights and interests of both spouses.
If you’re interested in hiring a divorce mediation attorney, contact Her Lawyer. We’ll get you in touch with the most qualified divorce mediation attorney for your unique legal matter.
4. Can I meet privately with you?
Don’t forget to ask if you’ll be in the same room as your spouse during mediation. Some mediation sessions take place with each spouse in a different room to avoid conflict. In these situations, a mediator can move back and forth between rooms and act as a “messenger”. If you prefer, ask if you can meet over the phone or video chat.
5. Should I hire my own divorce attorney?
Ask if you can or should hire your own divorce attorney. The answer should always be yes. If the mediator says no, then that should raise a red flag. Your mediator should encourage you and your spouse to meet independently with divorce attorneys. Experienced lawyers with specialization in your particular legal dispute can help guide you through mediation and protect your rights. Attorneys can either provide limited scope representation out of court or join you in mediation to actively protect your rights.
The mediator should actively advocate for you and your spouse to have legal representation and counsel. A spouse may hire an attorney during mediation not to be combative, but rather to make well-informed decisions and understand every aspect of their discussions. Both you and your spouse should be fully informed throughout the mediation.
6. How can you protect me if my spouse lies or accuses me?
There’s never a way for your divorce mediator to know when you or your spouse is being dishonest. This always the case, even in divorce court proceedings. However, a mediator can have both spouses sign a legally-enforceable agreement promising honesty, mutual respect, and full disclosure. Signing this agreement can greatly increase the chances of having a fair, civil mediation process.
7. How long is each mediation session?
Mediation is typically broken into multiple 2 or 3-hour sessions. Longer mediation sessions can leave spouses feeling stress or tensed, while shorter sessions may not allow any productive discussions. Make sure your mediation session maximizes productivity. Some mediators choose to set no time limit and only leave end the session once an agreement has been reached. Having an open clock can leave some spouses overwhelmed, pressured, and exhausted, while inspiring others to have productive conversations. Speak with your mediator to determine how long each mediation session will be.
8. How long will mediation take?
Mediation can be completed in as little as two to three months. More complicated divorces can take anywhere from six months to one year. No situation is the same, and the length of your mediation will depend on how frequently sessions are held, the couple’s animosity, and how long spouses take to make decisions.
The mediator’s availability may also affect how long mediation can take. Ask the mediator what about their availability and how far out in advance they can schedule meetings. Expediting divorce mediation can lead to fewer headaches for all parties involved.
9. How much do you charge for mediation and how many sessions will we need?
The total cost of mediation is dependent upon two factors: your mediator’s hourly rate and the number of sessions you and your spouse will need to reach an agreement. Ask the mediator what their hourly rate is and have them approximate how many sessions will be needed. That’ll give you a sense of how much mediation will cost in total.
Remember to ask specific questions about how they charge fees. Will the mediator take an up-front retainer or a flat fee? Also, ask what their hourly rate is. Many mediations end up costing less than a few thousand dollars, while others wind up over $10,000.
10. Will you prepare and file all divorce paperwork for me and my spouse?
One of the most important parts of mediation is properly drafting and filing your final agreement, along with other divorce paperwork. Your agreement must be drafted sent to a judge for approval; an agreement cannot be enforced until it is filed with the court and signed with by a judge. An agreement that is not properly drafted in the reflection of mediation can lead to problems down the line. The final agreement must specifically detail the legalities surrounding your divorce settlement.
Having a mediator that can draft and file your final divorce agreement can save you lots of time and money. Some mediators are not permitted or qualified to draft or file divorce agreements, so make sure that they are before you begin mediation.
For answers to some FAQs about divorce mediation in California, click here.
Contact Us
If you’re wondering what to ask when interviewing a divorce mediator, contact us. We’ll get you in touch with the most qualified attorney or mediator for your unique legal situation. Get your free consultation today.